So you've been dating your new boyfriend or girlfriend for a few months, and things are going really good! They totally "get" you -- you know? Like, for who you are. It's so perfect and magical. Plus they're smart, and funny, and so hot. Wow! This feels like love!

Next step: make your devotion permanent, and tattoo their name on your butt.

Actually, wait. That's a stupid, stupid, stupid idea. Do you know any couples that are still together that have each other's names tattooed somewhere on their bodies? Probably not -- because it's like signing a death warrant for your relationship. I'm not sure why -- maybe it's the constant reminder of the permanence of your situation, or maybe it's because tattoos do something weird to your brain that makes you freak out about commitment. But one way or another, if you get inked, you're breaking up.

Just look at Halle Berry. She had David Justice's name tattooed on her butt when the two were married in the 90s. Then, of course, they divorced. So, rather than have all her future boyfriends reading her ex's name every time they checked our her derriere, Berry got re-inked. The actress turned Justice's name into a sunflower, "because when darkness descends they close up to regenerate."

But, she adds, "I really wish I'd never had the tattoo in the first place."

Lesson learned.