All the celebrities turned out for last night's MTV Video Music Awards, and almost everyone looked great. However, the evening's big story was Britney Spears' much-anticipated "come back" performance that opened the show. I can barely find the words to describe this unfortunate spectacle. The world may never know why Britney chose to wear that glittery bikini -- even though her publicist, manger, and costumer almost certainly pleaded with her not to. Maybe it was because she's taped the heavily airbrushed photos for her new perfume ads over all of her mirrors, and has no idea what she really looks like -- or, more likely, she was trying to distract everyone from the fact that she's incapable of lip syncing to her own music.
Either way, I think Sarah Silverman said it best in her introductory remarks, that immediately followed Britney's disastrous appearance: "She is amazing. I mean, she is 25 years old and she's already accomplished everything she's going to accomplish in her life."
Zing!