The most common excuse I hear for wearing atrocities like tracksuits and terribly ill-fitting pants (please see the picture to the right) is "But it's so comfy!" Um, okay. I didn't know comfort was a reason to show up to the supermarket like a velour nightmare. How many times have you stumbled out of bed, gone to the nearby Starbucks with the intention to be in and out within ten minutes, only to bump into a friend (I won't mention if they're super attractive or not) and be immediately consumed with hot embarrassment because you look like you, well, stumbled out of bed? And if that hasn't happened yet, it will, my friend. It will. Looking somewhat decent doesn't take that much work, actually. No one should have to get glammed up to go for a morning coffee run, but no one should be able to confuse you for a homeless person either. Here are some helpful hints on how to not look like a slob without sacrificing your morning.
Bad: Oversized baggy t-shirt (mustard stains optional)
Good: Oversized but crisp shirt (excuse to raid the boyfriend's wardrobe)
If you absolutely must have oversized t-shirts with cola stains from your office team-building exercise from '99 (Flight of the Conchords, anyone?) in your life, it is imperative to know that they are only acceptable for indoor lounging, bedtime, or as painting smocks. Never should a size XXXL t-shirt be on a body in public unless the person in question really is a size XXXL. However, for a quick trip to the grocery store, comfort is a lovely thing to have and oversized shirts are understandably tempting. Why not go for a crisp men's dress shirt instead? It's just as big and baggy, but has just enough tailored shapes and cuts to make it look like you've made at least some effort. I have a tendency to wear one to bed and then stumble out the next morning in the same thing to pick up coffee.
Good: Ballet flats, or Crocs ballet flats (Prima) if you must
After all that news about Crocs causing accidents, one thinks there'd be a decline in those monstrosities' popularity. Apparently that is not the case. I still see a surprising number of people shuffling around in them and all I can picture are hammer toes. However, rarely do I hear someone tell me that their top reason for wearing Crocs is for the style. It's all about comfort, comfort, comfort. Well, did you know that the Crocs brand actually makes ballet flats too? They're not the cutest things in the universe but they are certainly much more attractive than the bulky originals. Plus, they promise the same comfort. And don't forget the beauty of non-Crocs ballet flats, which can be equally comfortable and a thousand times better-looking. To me, nothing says, "I've stopped trying" more than battered, old, bulky Crocs.
Bad: Crummy jeans or sweatpants
Good: Darkwash, comfy jeans
It's amazing what a change in color can do for denim. A darkwash denim instantly makes any pair of jeans look more classy and clean. I mean, the exception is mom jeans, which cannot be saved. Ever. Pick a fit that makes you feel the most comfortable and then find it in the darkest wash possible. Better yet, take advantage of the wide-legged pants trend that is going on now. Rarely do I ever use the phrase "breezy and fun", but... darkwash wide-legged pants would be breezy and fun. Ditch the acid wash, please.
Good: Fun zip-up hoodie, oversized is fine.
Tracksuits are only acceptable for, well, people running track. However, the comfortable hoodie style is terribly tempting and, honestly, doesn't need to be avoided. I much prefer zip-up hoodies to pull-overs, just because the static electricity makes my hair go wonky and crackly. An interestingly patterned hoodie over a simple tank top is incredibly comfortable but can look nice at the same time. I recently bought a green plaid hoodie from Forever 21 and it has already become my favorite jacket. Plus, the hoodie is soft and warm and does a very good job of hiding my hair on rainy days.
Bad: Morning face and morning breath
Good: Bare Escentuals mineral veil, Chapstick, gum
Not every woman has an hour to get ready in the morning. We all know that. However, there are a few things that take only a minute, 30 seconds of which can be taken care of in the parking lot. Bare Escentuals is famous for its mineral veil product, which is a light dusting that is usually worn on top of their other powders. For ladies in a rush, it can actually be worn alone. The mineral veil just adds an extra little glow and polish to the face without looking cake-y. The whole Bare Escentuals powder routine is actually really easy to get through, so if you have five minutes, you might as well go for it. But, again, for those with barely a minute to spare, a mineral veil dusting is fine. Slightly tinted Chapstick is also a very minor thing that can do wonders to hide the fact that you woke up literally ten minutes before you stepped into the store. If you have morning breath, though, no matter how good you look, everyone knows that you just woke up. Pop a piece of gum, for goodness' sake, and then give your teeth a good brushing as soon as you get back home.
Bad: Saggy. Super saggy.
Good: Put. On. A. Bra.
Some women seem to think that a trip to pick up some milk doesn't warrant wearing a bra. And yes, that choice of words was intentional. Remember when I said that nothing says, "I've stopped trying" more than Crocs? I take that back. Not wearing a bra is a huge sign of giving up. It's pretty much a common courtesy to put one on, just so that you're not swinging everywhere or unintentionally introducing people to parts of your body that no one wants to meet. Please, put a bra on for the greater good.