As part of their never-ending endeavor to get you the inside scoop on Oscar fashion, Styledash contributors Kristen Seymour and Jonathon Morgan bring you the Academy Awards -- from inside the minds of our favorite celebrities! Now you know what they're really thinking while they walk down the red carpet.
%Gallery-16816%
8:30
Anne Jeffreys is thinking: Helen Mirren told me red was the hot new thing, so here I am. But wait! There's some sort of crazy orange material on the underside! What the hell? Oh, just keep smiling, smile for the camera ...
8:25
Ellen Page is thinking: Anything I put on without a huge belly underneath is going to be a hit. Now that everyone knows I turned 21, am I going to have to start dressing like it? Because I LIKE dressing like a teenager!
8:23
Penelope Cruz is thinking: Oooh, these feathers, they are tickling my busoms! Ayayaya!
8:16
Daniel Day Lewis is thinking: I am sooo creative. This tuxedo's color scheme is OUT there, man. Maybe it'll take some attention away from my wife's dress. We need to fire our stylist. Or hire one.
8:14
Helen Mirren is thinking: I bet Katherine Heigl thinks she's the trend setter with the red, but it's ALL ME, baby. This is MY red carpet, blondie.
8:07
Laura Linney is thinking: I hope the rain holds off, because if my hair falls, I'm in trouble.
Javier Bardem is thinking: Can someone talk about anything besides my hair in the movie? Seriously, I pulled out all the stops tonight -- modified ducktail hairstyle, suit, deodorant ...
8:00
Kristen Chenoweth is thinking: My hair, my makeup, my jewelry -- perfect! I only wish I'd looked at my rear in the mirror before I'd left the house ... I'm pretty sure my ass didn't look that big before I put this dress on.
Katherine Heigl is thinking: I am SUCH a trend setter--everyone is wearing red, everyone is wearing one-shoulder ... clearly everyone loves me. No wait, they want to be me.
7:57
Viggo Mortensen is thinking: I'm sick of everyone thinking I'm hot. With this beard, I look older than Harrison-freakin'-Ford, so maybe the ladies will stop screaming for me. I am a SERIOUS actor -- I hate looking good.
7:53
Hilary Swank is thinking: Yeah, my dress is hot, and I know look crazy skinny. I just hope nobody steps on my train -- it's hard to stand up this straight as it is!
7:50
Jennifer Hudson is thinking: Okay people, I got it. No metallic snakeskin bolero this year, alright? Go ahead, try to find something to say about this one -- I dare you! I am one hot, sexy lady. Beyonce who?
Colin Farrell's mom is thinking: If Colin won't cut his hair, I wish to God he'd wash it once in a while. You think it looks bad on camera? You should smell it!
7:46
Colin Farrell is thinking: I'm sick of wearing a suit, and my hair is in my face. Where's my knit cap? Holy [expletive] God [expletive] [expletive] -- does anyone have a light?
Tilda Swinton is thinking: What is this "mascara" word people keep shouting at me? And what is it that tailors do? I will be so happy to go home and wear this as pajamas!
7:39
Cameron Diaz is thinking: So, I know I wore the architectural light dress before, and it didn't go over well, but I'm BLONDE this year. And my dress sort of stays up ...
Kerri Russell is thinking: I'm so happy I wore my hair up today. Do you even KNOW what happens to Felicity hair when it's humid and windy like this?
%Gallery-16814%
7:37
Marion Cotillard is thinking: I wonder how many large white fish had to die for me to have this dress?
7:30
Jessica Alba is thinking: No pressure, no pressure. I've only been voted the hottest woman in the world, and I'm preggers on the red carpet, but these boob feathers will distract everyone from the baby bump. HaHA!
Seth Rogan is thinking: Why should I shave? I'm wearin' a suit, man, and I already got to get busy in a movie with Katherine Heigl. I give hope to sad frat boys the world over!
Miley Cyrus thinking: I'm so cute. I'm rocking the red dress, red carpet. Hannah Montana, 2012!
7:22
Gary Buese is thinking: HEY! I'm wearing pants today, so why doesn't this Ryan Seacrest punk want to interview me? COME ON. ARHGHLARHGLAH!
7:20
Jennifer Garner is thinking: I wish my bangs would stay out of my face. I have some stunning jewelry, Laura Linney is my new best friend, and my cleavage rocks. I rule!
7:12
Amy Adams is thinking: I AM enchanted. My double faced satin gown is enchanted, my tiny little bag is enchanted, and I even have an enchanted little doll. Life is just a fairytale. Tra, la la, la la ... I should talk to George Clooney's girlfriend, she'd understand.
James MacAvoy's wife is thinking: Oh crap, my strap is falling down. But let's be real, my dress if fabulous. Who cares about hair and makeup with a dress like this?
7:02
John Travolta is thinking: Did I paint my hairline on straight? OMG! Are my sideburns even?
Steve Carell is thinking: Thank GOD I'm wearing a designer whose name is fun to say. Vacca, vacca. Vacca! Ha!
6:57
Saoirse Roman is thinking: I just have to dress in something that doesn't show off my naughty bits, bring along my dad, and everyone thinks I'm adorable. Cake!
Anne Hathaway is thinking: I have a FABULOUS dress, my date has a sexy Italian accent, and I'm FUNNY! YOU LOSE.
%Gallery-16812%
6:52
Jason Batement is thinking: I'll continue to throw everyone off by dressing like George Clooney, yet acting like a total goof. Mwa ha ha!
6:47
George Clooney is thinking: Now that I'm here, I KNOW Ryan's re-thinking that wardrobe choice. And apparently has a crush on me.
6:37
Zebra print chick is thinking: "Weather girl" is sooo not a part of my contract. I'm supposed to be talking about fashion and celebrities, and schmoozing with hot George Clooney, not watching storm fronts. This