How many times have you found yourself waking up with a pounding headache and a mouth that tastes like cat butt? About 4 or 5 times a week, right? I hear ya. I don't know how many times I have spent a hungover morning trying to retrace my steps to see a) how I spent my entire paycheck, and b) exactly how much I drank. Generally speaking this is where I make empty promises to myself like "I'm never going to drink again. At least no more than 4 beers on any given night."

The problem with such plans, best laid as they are, is that somewhere along the line I tend to forget whether the beer in my hand is number two or number eight three. Math becomes involved and after carrying the one, having a slice of pie and dangling a participle- oh wait, that's my grammar issue, I'm suddenly more beers into the night then I ever intended. It's a trust issue.

That's why I'm just all sorts of tickled about the Beer Tracker. It is yet another in a long line of novelty bottle openers, but unlike the others that I have it doesn't play "Bear Down" or throw out quotes from Homer (the Simpson, not the poet). No, the Beer Tracker counts. It counts every beer that you open on a digital screen right on the handle. Now the only confusion that you could possibly encounter is if you happen to open beers for someone else, in which case it's right back to the drawing board. Of course, you could always carry an extra in case this happens. I suggest the Homer.