Who's the star of the next scandalous celebrity sex tape? Kristin Davis? Paris Hilton? Perez Hilton? The answer is none of the above. The must-see celebrity sex tape of the month features the mother of all American sex symbols: Marilyn Monroe.

According to the NY Post, the only known copy of the infamous FBI sex tape -- showing Marilyn getting hot and heavy with an unidentified male -- was sold to a collector for $1.5M over the weekend. So, when will the footage hit YouTube? The collector says that it will never see the light of day.

As you could imagine, a sex tape this high profile is shrouded in intrigue and mystery. As the story goes, the FBI under J. Edgar Hoover confiscated the footage from an informant and tried for months to prove that the mystery man in the tape was JFK himself -- to no avail. We all know what "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" was all about. Before the Feds could get hold of the tape, however, their informant had made a copy and stashed it away in a safe-deposit box. Where it's been up until now.

The New York businessman who bought the tape claims that he will lock it up, saying "I'm not going to make a Paris Hilton out of her. I'm not going to sell it, out of respect." We think he's got it all backwards. Obviously, it's Paris who's trying to follow in Marilyn's footsteps.