Summertime is right around the corner. For those of us who still follow the old rules, that means White Season!
White shoes, white bags, white dresses, and most dangerously, white pants. So easy to ruin forever with blueberry pie, so hard to find a flattering fit.
Here are a few of simple rules to take the fear and anxiety out of wearing these most unforgiving garments:
1. Be skinny-skinny-skinny. Where black is slimming, white ahem creates a visual expansion. Particularly of one's posterior. If you're not super slim, you may want to back away from the idea right now.
2. Have a hard body. For some reason white fabric always seems to be super lightweight. That means you get zero coverage or support to prevent jiggle. If you're going to feel self-conscious about this, then again we suggest you back out before making the investment in a statement piece like this.
3. Wear giant Spanx from knee to bust or a thong -- nothing in between. White pants amplify VPL like a beacon. You don't want anything to create the look of ripples. Also, see # 1 and 2 above.
4. Carry a Tide to Go bleach pen at all times. Grimy whites are the antithesis of style. If you're going to wear all that white, you must take responsibility for keeping it clean.
5. Go big or go home. If you're going to do this, do it fabulous. Go for superwide legs and crazy high waists. Pair them with plunging tropical-colored halter tops and wear an armful of bright bracelets. Try a pair of towering platforms. Wear a fruit headdress. Have fun! White pants mean summertime, kool-aid rum punch and outdoor parties with loved ones -- none of whom care if you're skinny, hard, jiggly, rippley or dirty.