Ever been at the beach and wondered why your man was in a fog? Though normally quick witted, he suddenly can't string even the simplest sentences together without tripping over words -- he's indecisive, and his brain wanders constantly like he's been sneaking sips of whiskey. So what gives?

According to a recent scientific study, it turns out all the boobs are making him stupid. This probably isn't news to you, but now it's been proven officially in a report titled: "Bikinis Instigate Generalized Impatience in Intertemporal Choice." (Read: "Bikinis make dudes dumb.")
It works like this: men who are turned on by scantily women are prone to seek immediate gratification -- even that gratification isn't related to sex. That's why people sell overpriced sports cars (or watches, or whatever) and bad-tasting beer with bikini models. Men turn off the more staid, rational part of their brain that tells them to think about the consequences of dropping $40,000 on a fast car that'll break down and doesn't have room for the kids.

Obviously some guys are capable of thinking with the big head and not the little one, so keep that in mind before you try to trick your man with some sexy lingerie. But the next time he gets that vacant stare, keep your eyes peeled for bikini-clad babes that might be detrimental to his decision-making abilities.