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We got your murves right here, ladies and bear-lovers

by Cat Lincoln (Subscribe to Cat Lincoln's posts)
Posted Aug 1st 2008 at 2:13PM  
1 Comment
Share



We always talk about women and how thin or "curvy" they are. As nice as it is to remind folks that women come in all shapes and sizes, we're tired of hearing all about what straight men like.

It's parity time. Here's the scoop (it's certainly not the skinny) on man shapes: sure, we like our men with "murves" but not so much that they can't fly on commercial airlines.

Really! Everyone likes Christian Bale better Batman Burly than all manorexic for The Machinist. And calling Colin Farrell: time to pound the Guinness and get manly again! It's important to have some meat on your bones. Looking like you can survive a little hibernation can be downright sexy. It gives off a sense of strength and stability. On the other end of the spectrum, if you can't find pants with zippers and pockets in your size, it's gone too far.

These are the most common categories of men with curves:

  • Cubs - usually occurs in younger men, once they discover beer, especially if they're a bit, erm, hairy.
  • Man weight - when they no longer have a smaller waist than their girlfriends. In the best scenarios it's "all muscle."
  • Burly - somewhere between here and man weight is the perfect Christian Bale/Batman moment. Between here and Bear: Russell Crowe.
  • Bear - Big. Hairy. Totally male. This is where most men wind up, especially if they are funny or a fan of Kathy Griffin.
  • Brando - like that episode when Homer Simpson wore a muumuu.

Caution: Hot Murves Ahead

(click thumbnails to view gallery)

  • Jack Black
  • Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill
  • Jon Favreau
  • Val Kilmer, or as we like to call him, Our Generation's Brando
  • Philip Seymour Hoffman
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Filed under: CELEBRITY STYLE, Fashion, Celebrity, News, Best of the Season, Stylish Living
Tags: batman, bear, brando, burly, christian bale, ChristianBale, colin farrell, ColinFarrell, cub, curvy, guinness, hibernation, homer simpson, HomerSimpson, kathy griffin, KathyGriffin, man weight, ManWeight, men, murve, muumuu, russell crowe, RussellCrowe, skinny, strength, the machinist, TheMachinist, what men like, what women like, WhatMenLike, WhatWomenLike, women
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READER COMMENTS

(1)Add A Comment

Kristen, 8-02-2008, 9:25AM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Kristen

Good grief, that is too funny. Jon Favreau DID go all Brando on us, didn't he?

Reply »

 
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