One of the first makeup tips you learn in middle school is to emphasize either your eyes or your lips, but never both. Shortly after you master that lesson, you learn that really dark makeup shouldn't be paired with a light, flirty, feminine outfit. So, did Jennifer Lopez miss out on all of the middle school beauty gossip, or what?

To promote her new fragrance, Deseo for Men, Jennifer gets it desperately wrong. Had she left the red lipstick at home and gone with her more typical nude gloss, or even a soft pink, we would've given her a pass.

Or maybe we'd be okay with it if we weren't sure her inner monologue was, "You stupid, ridiculous little people. If you don't purchase my fragrance immediamente, I shall eat your puny faces. Do not test me -- I just had babies and I already look like this, and I am starving."

Regardless, as it stands, we are not okay with this look (even though we totally dig the dress on its own). Even if JLo eats our faces, it's worth it to get that off our chests.