Style is about expressing yourself, and e-mail has become a major part of everyone's image.There are a lot of ways you can distinguish your e-mail style. Signatures, emoticons, fonts, backgrounds, long paragraphs, short paragraphs, no caps or punctuation like e e cummings, and so on. We think we've got a few of these styles pegged. Read on and tell us which you are!
The Slapdasher
The Slapdasher has no idea where the spellcheck is and would consider using it a waste of time. The Slapdasher is usually a multitasker who is doing five things and barely has time to write the e-mail he or she is sending. Their e-mails tend to be short with few line breaks, unsigned (or signed with a single letter), and often completely incomprehensible. Example:
where aeryou going to be tonight I have chips
P
The Min-email-ist
The Min-email-ist is much like the Slapdasher, only the rush is feigned. The Min-email-ist sends you a message with a cultivated "I'm too sexy for this e-mail" aura. The e-mails are perfectly spelled, but often don't include all the necessary punctuation or capitalization. Line breaks are common. Example:
i'm thinking about Samantha Ronson today...
someone told me she's like 40
wikipedia says she's 31
am confused, talk later
Stef
The e-Poet
The e-Poet is one of our favorites. The e-Poet sends you long, beautifully composed paragraphs with obscure historical and literary references. They occasionally even resort to a fancy font to remind you that their e-mail is special. There is usually a signature at the bottom of the message with either a personal belief or a quote like:
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery
The e-Blitzer
The e-Blitzer's e-mails freeze your computer, hurt your eyeballs, and give you hives. The background is hot pink with actual moving bunny rabbits, the font is size 18 and looks like D'Nealian, and the words beautiful, joy, and love are probably abused somewhere in the message. The e-Blitzer is celebrating, and we like that, but as we wait for their e-mail to finish loading, we feel a twinge of rage.
The Plain Jane or Joe
Plain Jane or Joe probably uses e-mail for work a lot and is used to using the spell check, watching grammar, and signing everything with a thank you. There is nothing wrong with being The Plain Jane or Joe, but why not find a way to spice up your style? Take a tip from the e-Poet and get a great signature that tells us who you are, or maybe, when you're not at work, go Slapdasher so that people know you're busy and awesome.
The Dick
The Dick. The Dick doesn't care. The Dick sends you one line or an invitation to see their band play with no personal message. The Dick is just using you for information. The entire e-mail consists of one question or statement, no Dear So and So, no signature. The problem with being The Dick is that without your inflection, the e-mail can sound really cold or even impatient and mean. E-mail is not instant messaging, I'm The Dick sometimes. Example:
Do you have my umbrella?
So, when you're not at work, or when you're slacking off at work, what's your personal e-mail style?
| The Slapdasher | |
|---|---|
| The Min-Email-ist | |
| The e-Poet | |
| The e-Blitzer | |
| The Plain Jane or Joe | |
| The Dick |