Look, we're really not too great when it comes to writing touching and sensitive obituaries, so we won't pretend to write one. This is the tragic story of a compulsive shopaholic who died as a result of her untreated desire to accumulate too much awesome stuff -- a desire we can definitely sympathize with. Joan Cunnane, 77, went missing over the Christmas holiday and was eventually found in her Manchester home, buried under an avalanche of unopened stuff.
According to one of Joan's closest friends -- Roy Moran -- she had a collection of over 300 scarves: "I asked her why she needed that many. She said they were all different colours." Her home, according to the Mail, was so crowded with brand new umbrellas, IKEA candle holders, trinkets, clothing, and other collectibles that Cunnane had only a two foot wide walkway to get around.
When neighbor's noticed that Cunnane had not appeared in a few days, they went in her home, but could not find her. After two days of searching, police located her body under three feet of suitcases and unopened goods. It took a team of 6 police officers two days to load all of the junk into a van.
Apparently, this kind of shopaholic behavior is very treatable, so please get help if you find yourself stacking up all of your junk to the ceiling. Dangerous stacking seems to be the telltale symptom.