Single Ladies (Put a Ring in It!) Photo by Junko Kimura/Getty Images

Marriage rates in Japan are plunging as dangerously as the neckline on a red carpet gown -- which must be the inspiration for Triumph International's new invention: The Konkatsu or "Marriage Hunting" bra.

Ah, the Japanese.

The bra is designed to encourage Japanese women to "gather ye rosebuds" as quickly and efficiently as possible: It has a (customizable!) countdown timer that can only be stopped with the insertion of an engagement ring and pockets to hold the pen and stamp seal needed to fill out the marriage license, pronto. It's like a Swiss Army Knife for the single woman looking to get hitched. The only thing missing is a leash to keep the hapless groom from getting away.

We think that the lingerie designers have made a fatal mistake in designing this bra (other than the fact that it's hideous): It's been widely reported that the problem in Japan isn't that men won't marry, but that Japanese women are on a sort of strike against traditional marriage roles. Perhaps an enterprising men's underwear designer is working on boxer shorts that will encourage guys to do the dishes? Now that might do the trick!