Victoria Beckham pre-Jimmy Coco. Stephen Lovekin, Getty Images

Come on, you didn't think it was real, did you?

Celebrity tan artist (yes, there is such a thing) Jimmy Coco tells the UK's Daily Mail that he's taken on Victoria Beckham as a client, correcting what he said was an un-Earthly orange glow (see right).

Posh Spice "understands the dangers of sunlight, yet wants a natural, healthy glow."

We are totally with him on the dangers of sunlight, but have to note that for as amazing as Mrs. Beckham looks, "natural" is not really the first adjective to come to mind. Well-engineered, yes.

At any rate, Coco promises he can take 10 lbs off with a good spray tan. "But in her case, that is not necessary," he notes.

We concur.

Fun Fact: Jimmy, whose real name is Jimmy Snyder, played the hot male stripper in "Terminator 3" who told Arnold Schwarzenegger to "Tell it to the hand!" when the naked Terminator asked for his clothes.

Click here for all the real-time Victoria Beckham news you need...and here for a continuously updated feed of photos.

Top Tanning Disasters, Fixed

    Self tanners can make or break your spring look. The key is discreet application -- like you've been beaching it in Tulum versus boothing it at Mystic Tan. But the tiniest mistake (Exhibit A: Amanda Bynes' mismatched face, arms and orange legs, spotted by prudent Tan Gazers at Perez Hilton's March 28th birthday bash), will totally bust your cover. Flip through the following pages for solutions to the most common self tanner disasters.

    - Melissa Goldberg

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images

    Problem: My feet, knees and elbows are discolored

    The Fix: Hydrate first

    To avoid the dreaded "Orange Foot" spotted here on Victoria Beckham, take the necessary precautions - before applying self-tanner, massage moisturizer onto rough areas (like the knees, elbows and the feet and hands) and wipe off excess with a towel. The layer of hydration will prevent skin from absorbing too much tanner and looking dark.

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images

    Problem: My face is way too dark

    The Fix: A bronzer instead of self-tanner

    Your face should be lighter than your body, or else you risk looking unnatural and even older. Bronzing powders or tanners made just for the face will give you a subtle, youthful glow.

    Problem: I can't reach my back

    The Fix: Spray it on

    Self-tanners in a spray form are ideal for hard-to-reach spots. As you get more practice, use sprays to shape thighs and stomach by concentrating color on problem areas.

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images

    Problem: Orange hands

    The Fix: Laundry detergent

    Mix a teaspoon of detergent granules with water to make a paste. Gently scrub palms and between fingers to erase color. To prevent future mishaps, wear latex gloves to apply self-tanner.

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images

    Problem: Splotchy Color

    The Fix: Try mousse instead of lotion

    Beginners will have more success with a mousse texture that glides on more evenly and is less prone to streaking.

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images

    Problem: I'm terrified of self-tanners

    The Fix: Go slow

    Build color slowly with new body moisturizers that you can use everyday. Apply to dry skin after showering in the AM, and see a touch of color by evening. Bonus: they're practically mistake proof.

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images

    Problem: I'm have darker skin, but I want a glow

    The Fix: Go for shimmer

    Use a spray or lotion with golden light-reflecting particles on legs and shoulders to add a radiant sexy glow to deeper skin tones.

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images

    Problem: My clothes are stained

    The Fix: Plan to tan

    If you want to show off sun-kissed skin in white clothes, apply product a day before you dress. A gentle shower after your tan emerges will get rid of extra color that may rub off. Also, most stains will come out in the wash.

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images

    Problem: My tanner makes me itch

    The Fix: Rethink tanning

    If you have sensitive skin, test any product in a small area to see if skin reacts before committing to color. Porcelain skin is beautiful too, and your health is not worth the risk of a fake bake.

    Angela Weiss, Getty Images