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British Theme Park Says Sayonara to Speedos

by Erin Donnelly (Subscribe to Erin Donnelly's posts)
Posted Aug 10th 2009 at 6:30PM  
56 Comments
Share

Should this be banned? Photo: Getty Images

Girls, our days of gagging at hairy old men wedged into teeny tiny Speedos are over!

At least at Alton Towers, that is. The British water park has put a stop to the clingy, stretchy madness by banning men from wearing Speedos and other TMI swimwear, The Guardian reports.

The best part? The cheeky press release Alton Towers issued announcing their decision, which reads:


"To prevent embarrassment among fellow members of the public and to maintain the family-friendly atmosphere at the resort, bosses have taken the extreme measure of banning these tight trunks from their popular waterpark located within the Splash Landings Hotel.


"While women may hail the return of the skimpy bathers, the style itself is not deemed public or family friendly, and therefore we are requesting that male swimmers wear more appropriate styles such as boardshorts."

The company is also considering offering males free waxing services to further keep things on the up and up. Consider yourself warned, "Beach Bob."


Okay, so our days of ogling sexy Daniel Craig lookalikes in snug shorts may be over (we'll always have these David Beckham shots), but it's a small price to pay for the freedom to go swimming without being assaulted by visions of upper thigh flab, crotch smuggling, and hairy backs.

We may actually get in the pool now.

Read All Comments
Filed under: Fashion, News, Stylish Living
Tags: Banana-Hammock, Beach, david-Beckham, Hairy-Men, Men-in-Speedos, Men-on-Beach, Mens-Swimwear, Speedo-Ban, Speedos, Swimsuit, Swimsuit-Ban
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READER COMMENTS

(56)Add A Comment

me, 8-11-2009, 8:16AM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
me

its not right. women wear what they want. me should be able to wear what they want. who cares if they are harry or not. and ilike i see on alot of these blogs, if you dont like it. turn your head. men keep wearing your speedos i love it.

Reply »

blair, 8-11-2009, 8:47AM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
blair

What does a long bathing suit have to do with a hairy back OR A huge beer gut? - The hairy back will still be there with nothing else to focus on - so that statement is moot -

»

Frank N. Stein, 8-12-2009, 10:06AM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
Frank N. Stein

Trunks and board shorts are NOT going to cover up hairy backs! Hello!!

Reply »

Yeminmoshe, 8-11-2009, 8:18PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Yeminmoshe

The british, as the americans, should go to Rio to get some
swimmingwear etiquette.
Hypocrits.

Reply »

Mandy, 8-11-2009, 8:16PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Mandy

Speedos should be illegal anyways as should fat people in spandex. You just really have to feel embarrassed for those who flaunt what they don't have. And just because you have it to flaunt, doesn't mean we have to look at it. Please oh please wear moderately tasteful bathing attire. Won't someone think of the children lol?

Reply »

thom, 8-11-2009, 10:44PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
thom

there is no such word as "anyways". The word is anyway.

»

Mandy, 8-11-2009, 10:58PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Mandy

Welcome to the US where we use "anyways" Look it up...don't be so anal.

»

DreamerGiggles, 8-11-2009, 8:20PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
DreamerGiggles

I hope they get sued for sexual discrimination. If women can wear tight, close fitting suits men should be able to as well.

Reply »

Bear, 8-11-2009, 8:25PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
Bear

And will women also wear appropriate attire? Do we really need to see cottage cheese thighs? Or 36DDs shoved into a C cup top?

While I have no problem with there being "rules", I DO have a problem with double standards.

Reply »

sig, 8-12-2009, 1:30AM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
sig

Yeah, bring back the long wool bathing suits from the 1920's. Wait, let's go further back and make women wear long ankle length dresses to the pool!

»

Shermaine, 8-11-2009, 8:35PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Shermaine

What a total double standard. I don't need to see women wearing skimpy and ill-fitting bathing suits any more than I do men. [insert eye-roll here]

Reply »

DOUG, 8-11-2009, 8:53PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
DOUG

TO YEMENOSHI AND THE OTHER IDIOTS THAT DEFEND THE SPEEDO :
This is NOT RIO , NOT THE BEACH , this is not a PRIVATE POOL ..when i am on line for a water slide with my 7 yr old daughter who is 3 ft 5 and some scumbag trashy guy with his sausage and eggs WELL DEFINED in FAR TO SKIMPY SPEEDO is one person infront of us and decides to turn around and put his personal business in her face i will KNOCK HIM THE F*** OUT ! ..a REGULAR SUITE is CONCEALING ENOUGH..and at the beach we are not forced into lines and close quarters...water parks IT IS NOT APROPRIATE ATTIRE ..PERIOD !

Reply »

ken, 8-11-2009, 9:59PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
ken

I agree with you that is just gross and uncalled for to wear a speedo at the water park kids do not need to see that. I think i would do just the same.

»

Idiot hater, 8-11-2009, 10:06PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
Idiot hater

The make sure you go to disney land and that your wifes stretch marks are covered too

»

oink, 8-11-2009, 9:01PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
oink

I prefer going NAKED instead of wearing a suit...So what~~!!
Who talking now~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Support your local Nude Beaches~~!! I'm club-member~~!!

Reply »

john, 8-12-2009, 8:20PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
john

im always naked theres nothin wrong with that wheres the nude beaches at im in pa

»

old man, 8-14-2009, 2:52AM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
old man

I still belive god would have put clothing on us when we pop out to live. If that what he whated. We are what we are. Not fake cover up.

»

Randy, 8-11-2009, 9:19PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
Randy

So if you happen to have body hair, you are less of a person. I do not go to the beach or pools because I have body hair, but its natural, why the discrimination.

gre

Reply »

loustamm, 8-11-2009, 9:22PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
loustamm

Gee Doug, why are you pushing your little girl so close to people at public swimming pools? The tone of your post sounds like your little girl has a bigger problem then old men in speedos, She has to deal with your anger and temper. I just bet your wife is thrilled to hear you pull up in the drive way every afternoon know she has to listen to your ranting and raving hissy fits

Reply »

doug, 8-11-2009, 9:35PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
doug

dummy ..RE READ my statement ...nothing was said about a pool or any place like that ..its in a controlled place MEANT FOR CHILDREN where grown men feel the need to parade thier goods as if on some singles beach in the bahamas ...

»

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