On the inside pages of the fashion bible, the mama of three stars in an Alexei Hay-photographed spread clad in a chain-mail Jean Paul Gaultier jacket with studded shoulder pads and unlaced combat boots by Bess in one image and lace-trimmed spandex biker shorts (you heard us) in another. Flashback central!
Beauty-wise, SJP's channeling '80s club kid (not unlike Natalie Portman in the new issue of V), with artfully disheveled hair and bright makeup.
However, SJP's holiday cover is a bit more demure, featuring the actress in DeBeers and Fred Leighton diamonds, wearing a nude and pale pink tank-and-skirt ensemble by Miu Miu.
Surprisingly, Parker isn't sick of the latter, ultra femme color, even after having twin baby girls (Loretta and Tabitha) via a surrogate this past summer.
And pale pink isn't the only baby-related thing she's not over.
We actually prefer her new Carrie Bradshaw-inspired fragrance, but that's just us.
As for her decision to use a surrogate, the actress says she was prepared for scrutiny.
"I knew there would be lots of opinions about, 'Well, why didn't you adopt? Why didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that?,'" she explains in the magazine.
"The truth of the matter is, it wasn't one or the other for us. We had explored, and continue to explore all options, and this one just happened first. This isn't the period at the end of the sentence."
To see more of the hot mama in all of her retro glory, visit Elle.com.
And for a peek at an Elle cover from across the pond, check out these sultry pics.