"My priest made me do it" may not hold up so well in court. Photo: Getty Images
So much for "thou shalt not steal." A British priest has ticked off the police after encouraging worshippers to shoplift, the Daily Mail reports.
Reverend Winona Ryder -- er, we mean, Father Tim Jones of St. Lawrence's Church in York -- has sparked controversy after a "highly irresponsible" sermon in which he told his congregation that it was better to shoplift from major retailers than to turn to robbery or prostitution, according to the paper.
(Well, yeah, when you put it like that...)
Claiming that his words didn't contradict the eighth commandment "because God's love for the people outweighs the property rights of the rich," Father Jones reportedly said, "My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift.
"I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither.
"I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices. I would ask them not to take any more than they need, for any longer than they need.
"I offer the advice with a heavy heart and wish society would recognise [sic] that bureaucratic ineptitude and systematic delay has created an invitation and incentive to crime for people struggling to cope.
"Let my words not be misrepresented as a simplistic call for people to shoplift. The observation that shoplifting is the best option that some people are left with is a grim indictment of who we are."
In response, the North Yorkshire Police told the Daily Mail, "First and foremost, shoplifting is a criminal offence and to justify this course of action under any circumstances is highly irresponsible."
Local politicians and retail representatives have also reportedly decried the sticky-finger statements.
"Stealing is wrong and it isn't less wrong to steal from a big retailer than it is to steal from a small retailer," Richard Dodd of the British Retail Consortium told the paper.
Do we need to check all of our gifts for security tags this year? Seriously, people.
Meanwhile, this disgraced beauty queen lost her title thanks to stealing.