Sophia Loren's coat -- it's like buttah. Photos: Everett | NBC | Getty Images

Um... has anyone seen Big Bird lately? Because we suspect "fowl" play.

You will too after seeing the yellow feathered cape Sophia Loren wore to a screening of her new film, "Nine," last night.

So, we decided it was time for some fashion math to decode the legend's look.

If raiding the PBS wardrobe department wasn't bad enough, the foxy Italian stepped out in poufy hair, dated glasses and a plunging black gown with a crisscross bodice -- pure Linda Richman of "Saturday Night Live" 'Coffee Talk' fame.

(Side note: Duran Duran is neither Duran nor Duran. Tawk amongst yourselves.)

We're feeling a little verklempt -- and not in a good way -- over this getup.

We think maybe it's time for the 75-year-old beauty to tone it down a tad. Or at least wear something that doesn't give us "Follow That Bird" flashbacks. Is that too much to ask?

Meanwhile, see how Sigourney Weaver stays sexy at 60.