Vicky, Vicky, Vicky.

You have an impossibly slender physique, an impossibly gorgeous husband, and an impossibly lovely beach before you.

Can you please explain why you've tied on a cover-up that covers 3/4 of your body, and are hiding the rest under a big, floppy hat?

Maybe the world doesn't need to see more of Victoria Beckham, but darn it, we do. We can't help it, we just want to see the star in all of her bikini-clad glory!

Our guess is that Beckham wants to preserve her good looks by staying out of the sun, which we certainly understand. See Victoria Beckham, Serena Williams, and other stars in the beachwear: