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Professional model Mele Vazquez for American Apparel.

Between skeezy lawsuits, semi-porno ads, butt contests and mustache masks, there's not much American Apparel can do at this point to shock us.

Which is why we're not all that surprised to learn that the hipster retailer's claims that its ads star employees rather than professional models are, well, pretty much BS, according to a Jezebel report.

It all kicked off when Jezebel pointed out that several AA ads featured -- oopsie -- professional models (including Mele Vazquez and Zanita Whittington) as well as adult film stars, and not just some genetically blessed sales clerks, throwing a wrench into head honcho Dov Charney's "man of the people" persona.

In fact, a company statement issued to Fox just weeks ago reportedly bragged that their ads were "evocative because they feature real people instead of professional models."

Oh, Dov. Dov, Dov, Dov.

Iris Alonzo, the brand's creative director offered the site this explanation:

"As a creative director for American Apparel, I not only select many of our models but often shoot them myself," she told Jezebel.

"In the last year alone, I've photographed countless employees, friends, the winning butts from our Best Bottom Contest, fashion bloggers, two teenage lovebirds we met at our Lower Broadway store during Fashion's Night Out and of course, my dog Charlie.

"I'd say that 95 percent of the people we shoot have never been professionally photographed before, and approximately 50 percent of those people work for the company in some capacity."

So, we're not so good at, like, math, but 50 percent is less than 100 percent, right?

Of course, we shouldn't be too flabbergasted at the company's fudged facts. We choose to believe in a world where "real people" don't prance around in harlequin tights and day-glo mesh jerseys. But that's just us.

Just one thing... does this mean Woody Allen won't be manning the register next time we pop in for a hoodie?

Meanwhile, check out these WAGs turned Umbro models.