Victoria's Secret, meet Cami Secret.

Proving that not all gender equality is worth fighting for, Cami Secret has introduced a makeshift dickey for gals who just can't bear to expose their cleavage. (Psst -- it's called a turtleneck, girls.)

According to an infomercial posted on YouTube, the Cami Secret is a lace-trimmed piece of fabric/boob veil (available in a variety of designer colors!) that's meant to mimic a camisole (which leaves you -- wahhh -- "tugging and adjusting all day long") so your rack isn't revealed.

The one-size-fits-all wardrobe weapon, which attaches to your bra, is reportedly fab for gals who just can't seem to get away with wearing their slutty low-cut tube tops to the office. Here's a hint: Don't.

Bonus? It adds a "touch of color" -- and lets you score that super-cool layered look without the bulk! OMG! We're never wearing a camisole or buying a high-necked top again!!!

Never mind the fact that your boyfriend will wonder why your bra has a beard...

These babies are a bargain at six for $10, but if that's too rich for your blood, why not swipe a lobster bib from your favorite chowderhouse? Or a bib from the dentist?

And, hey, why not maximize your purchase? Stop pervs on the beach in their tracks by snapping a Cami Secret onto your string bikini. Show that flirty spin instructor who's boss with a covered-up sports bra. And celebs, just think of all the wardrobe malfunctions you can avoid with a hankie hanging between your knockers!

Sigh. We shudder to think what they'll come up with next.

Meanwhile, check out the Miss USA contestants' racy lingerie shots.