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Gray Hair Debate: Is it OK to Go Gray?

by Deborah Dunham (Subscribe to Deborah Dunham's posts)
Posted Jun 2nd 2010 at 4:15PM  
132 Comments
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Meryl Steep rocked gray locks as the fashionable Miranda Priestly in "The Devil Wears Prada." Photo: 20th Century Fox

Gray hair doesn't have to be traumatizing. It doesn't have to take away your youth. And it doesn't have to send your bank account into the red.

According to a panel of experts on the "Today" show (watch the clip below), gray hair can, in fact, be beautiful, liberating and sometimes even rebellious -- although you'd never know it by women in the spotlight these days.

Out of the 93 women in Congress, only five have gray hair -- which is five more than the female Fortune 500 CEOs. And with a few minor exceptions (like Jamie Lee Curtis), we all know what Hollywood thinks of silvery strands.

Linda Wells, editor-in-chief of Allure has said, "People want to look young so they're given roles, they're given opportunities, they're given jobs, so they're not thought of on the verge of retirement."

But not all women agree.

One group in particular -- the Silver Sisters Club in New York City, has stopped coloring their grays and are proud of their new, natural look. "There is a part of rebelliousness about it," says member, Suzanne Fleishmann. "You can present yourself as you are." Another member, Deidre Michael, says, "For the first time, I love my hair."

If you're concerned about your sex appeal with silvery strands, don't be says Anne Kreamer, author of "Going Gray." As she's previously told StyleList, her gray-haired photo on Match.com actually attracted three times as many men versus her dyed-hair photo. "I am who I am. You're getting what you see," she explains.

WATCH THE TODAY SHOW SEGMENT

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy



As liberating as it is to embrace your natural state, gray hair doesn't come without work. These experts say that keeping a shiny, healthy-looking head still requires using certain products, matching your natural color palette and having a great cut.

"I think going forward we're going to see more and more women daring to go gray," says More Magazine's beauty editor, Genevieve Monsma. "It's the most popular topic on the More.com web site right now."

Are you loving your silvery strands? Try these styling tips!
Read All Comments
Filed under: Hair, News, Hair Color
Tags: aol original, AolOriginal, going gray, gray hair, hair, hair basics, hair color, hair dye, HairBasics, silver hair
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READER COMMENTS

(132)Add A Comment

sandy, 6-08-2010, 3:05PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
sandy

I went gray at 45 developed an allergy to the hair dyes. Everyone loves my hair color. I get women asking me all the time if it is natural or dyed? Also most women tell me if they were sure their hair color came like this they would let it go natural too.

Go gray you would be surprised how great you will feel and look!

Reply »

B, 6-08-2010, 2:26PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
B

Sorry, I think only a few women can pull of gray hair! None of those women did it well.
My cousin does it great...I will never find out!

Reply »

Ldiv', 6-08-2010, 5:25PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Ldiv'

it's really too bad u feel that way.

»

alysse, 6-08-2010, 7:32PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
alysse

You know some people look awful with dyed hair, some people look awful with grey. It is all about choice and what looks good on you. If you can go grey and it looks good, good for you. I am not longer my old brunette which I loved nor am I grey. I went dark red and it is lighter than the brunette, but depth the grey would do. I've got people complementing my natural red hair. It is shiny, healthy and thick. So do what works, but if you hair is dry, frizzy or sparse. Get it healthy first before you do anything.

»

Lulu, 6-08-2010, 2:26PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
Lulu

I'm 43 and beginning to go grey, was not happy about it and started to dye it but gave up, actually, it's a nice shiny silver, I am going to see how long I can take it lol. I fear dying it on going from this age up will cause my hair to look like a birds nest by the time I'm 50, not worth is and yes a woman can look good with the silver showing, older women are the rage for younger men lol. Really though, fighting it and panicing seems more emabarrasing then the bad dye Jobs.

Reply »

Clara, 6-08-2010, 2:28PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
Clara

The woman in the photo is a lot older when her gray photo was taken, and has a different makeup application. It's not even the same thing.

Reply »

RedHawk, 6-09-2010, 10:25AM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
RedHawk

If I looked like Meryl Streep I wouldn't worry about going grey either...

Reply »

JTurner, 6-08-2010, 2:37PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
JTurner

I quit coloring my hair one year ago after coloring it every six weeks for 32 years. My natural hair color was dark brown and my "gray" is actually a beautiful silver color. I just turned 50 and am thrilled about no longer having to fight the gray and needless to say I am saving a ton of money! I use "Bling on Blonde" shampoo by Paul Mitchell and also use a shine product every day. I have never had so many compliments in my life and perfect strangers come up to me to say they love the color of my hair. It wasn't as hard to grow out as I thought it would be.

Reply »

Christina Doyle, 6-08-2010, 7:39PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Christina Doyle

GO YOU !!!

»

bebe, 6-08-2010, 2:41PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
bebe

Rebellious?? to go natural?!! Brave, maybe - but what a stupid word to use for someone being who they really are! What a mixed up world when you actually call your natural state - rebellious.

Reply »

Christina, 6-08-2010, 7:56PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Christina

So true.......and sad!

»

D girl, 6-09-2010, 12:26AM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
D girl

I agree that it is a sort of rebelliousness .... it's going against the norm, for sure. Isn't that what being rebellious is? It wouldn't have to be likened to being rebellious in the the first place if it weren't for so many years of women being brainwashed into thinking they can't be themselves and they have to color their hair to fit in or look good. Now that's what I call sad!

»

Pauline, 6-08-2010, 2:41PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
Pauline

I refuse to be intimidated by Clarol ads! I think gray hair is smashing!

Reply »

Carol Stout, 6-08-2010, 2:43PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
Carol Stout

I am 62 years old and have had gray hair for quite awhile now. I keep it looking decent and I figure if others don't like it then it is their problem not mine. When I was several years younger my daughter told me not to dye my hair as she had contributed to my having them and she thought I should keep them. lol. A few years later she thought maybe I should dye them and even bought me some dye which I never used. I told her that dyeing my hair was work that I did not want to do because once you start it you have to keep it up. I had dyed my hair other colors when I was younger but am glad that I quit when I had children to keep me busy. My gray hair has not changed who I am in the least nor would dyeing it if I chose to do so which I don't choose to do. I am proud of who I am.

Reply »

sally, 6-08-2010, 3:00PM

Half a star vote downvote upReport
sally

I have always used Mary Kay for over fifteen years now. I am 56 and people say "Oh I thought you were around 43 or 44. MK mask, anti aging products so wonders for my dry dry skin.
Im sure there are lots of good products out there. I am sticking with this. Cannot go grey yet, until my skin tone would change too. Cannot wait to do so really.

Reply »

leftwingsuckers, 6-08-2010, 2:46PM

Half a star vote downvote upReport
leftwingsuckers

Born with a full head of black hair now greyish white with that george hamilton look, my son's ex-girlfriend asked if I wanted to fcuk , of course I gave into her as a bon yoyage present....

Reply »

Rae, 6-08-2010, 2:47PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
Rae

I would love to go gray but at 61 I am unemployed and looking for a job. All I would need to do is to show up at an interview with gray hair. "Don't even bother sitting down, we have already filled the position." Don't tell me that age discrimination is illegal because there are a hundred ways around it.

Reply »

Ldiv', 6-08-2010, 5:25PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Ldiv'

Like all discrimination. While I believe U make a valid point, the truth is u could walk into an interview fat, or black, gay, a little person or handicapped, Muslim, or Hindu and the employer could react the same way. So yeah on the books lots of things are illegal as far as bias in the work place but there are ways around everything. Nothing makes gray hair different from anything else. Hell and it's something frivolous or superfluous if u ask me and u have the option to change it where as some of the things I mentioned either u don't have that option or it would really mean something huge if u did change it. I probably may have had some of the feelings u did if in a gray hair age range but u also gotta remember it is a hair color, lots of people do go gray early. We dont see it be they cover it immediately. Like anything aesthetic I think we should be as close to who or what we are as possible and accentuate and take care of what we have. I like make up. It accents but it shouldn't be a mask. Coloring your hair can be a fun change but not something that masks your real color bc of shame or the fact that u never really got to like it. It's apart of what makes u, u. This isn't fully directed at your comment bc I understood the point u were making and why. But i feel many woman here are not getting the big picture. We shouldn't allow our society, nor contribute to our society making us hate or be ashamed who we are.

»

Carol Stout, 6-08-2010, 2:48PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
Carol Stout

By the way, I should have added in my above comment that my husband also has gray hair. He started going gray when he was a very young person. When he and I met some 31+ years ago he still had some redish tinges in his beard but those have since gone totally gray also. Would I want him to dye his hair and beard? Definitely not, he is a great person just the way he is.

Reply »

sea329, 6-08-2010, 2:53PM

Half a star vote downvote upReport
sea329

Sure if your a movie star or have big money, but not for the rest of us slobs! Forget the gray, who wants to dat their grandmother!

Reply »

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