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Gray Hair Debate: Is it OK to Go Gray?

by Deborah Dunham (Subscribe to Deborah Dunham's posts)
Posted Jun 2nd 2010 at 4:15PM  
132 Comments
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Meryl Steep rocked gray locks as the fashionable Miranda Priestly in "The Devil Wears Prada." Photo: 20th Century Fox

Gray hair doesn't have to be traumatizing. It doesn't have to take away your youth. And it doesn't have to send your bank account into the red.

According to a panel of experts on the "Today" show (watch the clip below), gray hair can, in fact, be beautiful, liberating and sometimes even rebellious -- although you'd never know it by women in the spotlight these days.

Out of the 93 women in Congress, only five have gray hair -- which is five more than the female Fortune 500 CEOs. And with a few minor exceptions (like Jamie Lee Curtis), we all know what Hollywood thinks of silvery strands.

Linda Wells, editor-in-chief of Allure has said, "People want to look young so they're given roles, they're given opportunities, they're given jobs, so they're not thought of on the verge of retirement."

But not all women agree.

One group in particular -- the Silver Sisters Club in New York City, has stopped coloring their grays and are proud of their new, natural look. "There is a part of rebelliousness about it," says member, Suzanne Fleishmann. "You can present yourself as you are." Another member, Deidre Michael, says, "For the first time, I love my hair."

If you're concerned about your sex appeal with silvery strands, don't be says Anne Kreamer, author of "Going Gray." As she's previously told StyleList, her gray-haired photo on Match.com actually attracted three times as many men versus her dyed-hair photo. "I am who I am. You're getting what you see," she explains.

WATCH THE TODAY SHOW SEGMENT

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy



As liberating as it is to embrace your natural state, gray hair doesn't come without work. These experts say that keeping a shiny, healthy-looking head still requires using certain products, matching your natural color palette and having a great cut.

"I think going forward we're going to see more and more women daring to go gray," says More Magazine's beauty editor, Genevieve Monsma. "It's the most popular topic on the More.com web site right now."

Are you loving your silvery strands? Try these styling tips!
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Filed under: Hair, News, Hair Color
Tags: aol original, AolOriginal, going gray, gray hair, hair, hair basics, hair color, hair dye, HairBasics, silver hair
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READER COMMENTS

(132)Add A Comment

wabichiii, 6-08-2010, 2:57PM

1 star vote downvote upReport
wabichiii

I think that the women look 20 yrs older with gray hair. DUH

Reply »

Pauline, 6-08-2010, 2:58PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Pauline

What's wrong with us that the longest video from TV I've ever seen is about grey hair???

Reply »

karenlmoya, 6-08-2010, 2:58PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
karenlmoya

Google hair dye and Cancer ...another reason to go gray

Reply »

Diana Jewell, 6-08-2010, 3:12PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Diana Jewell

Yup, it's definitely OK to go gray, but I'd like to make one correction. The "Silver Sisters Club" is really non-existent. We are a website, www.goinggraylookinggreat.com, of women all over the world. And sometimes, we get together, but it can be anywhere from California to Cape Town.

Reply »

Suzanne, 6-08-2010, 3:21PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Suzanne

I stopped dying my hair two years before a class reunion and not only that, I let it grow past my shoulders, two things that older women seldom do because the so-called experts tell us to do that. Of course, those same experts also ssll us their hair coloring products.

I knew I had done the right thing when men started to compliment me. Never too old to get a compliment....expecially from younger men.

My favorite compliment was being told "you've aged beautifully."

I found that it wasn't so much the graying hair that makes women look older but the style and make up.

I love my gray hair and those compliments keep coming. Granted, I have a lot of streaks that frame my face but either way, I'd keep it gray.

Dark hair on aging skin only makes one look older because of the obvious contrast.

I also found that "no" bangs give you a more classic look. Keep it simple and enjoy your new look.

Reply »

cherylmar16, 6-08-2010, 3:05PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
cherylmar16

what looks worse? grey hair or an 80 year old with jet black hair? I'll stick with my own color.

Reply »

David, 6-08-2010, 3:10PM

3 stars vote downvote upReport
David

My wife let her hair go gray and now it is even more beautiful. Some women can pull it off and others can't. It is what it is and putting a bottle of dye on your head once a month is a pain in the ass and expensive.
My wife has always been very beautiful and she went gray 3 years ago after being together 25 years, she has gotten so much prettier it gets me excited.
Keep up the good work ladies.

Reply »

Becky, 6-08-2010, 3:09PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Becky

My sister started going grey at 16 and has been dyeing for the last 40 years. I, on the other hand, took after my mother and am just starting to grey at the temples at 60. I grew up looking forward to bring a grey granny and it will not happen for me. I do not have the vanity of worrying about hair color or the proper make-up job. As long as I have my teeth and can see where I am going, the rest is just superficial B-S.

Reply »

John B. Tate, Jr., 6-09-2010, 3:07AM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
John B. Tate, Jr.

My wife has had gray hair since she was in her late 40s, she is now 77--almost 78--and all along she has stated that "there is no way I will color my hair. I've earned EVERY gray hair I've got and I'm proud of it!" I wish she would let it grow out and she is an absolutely magnificent woman. One thing I would like to see happen is for her to have a "make over" including clothes, because she is so beautiful--both inside and out. We've been married 55 years and she gets better looking every day.

Reply »

MrRick, 6-08-2010, 3:10PM

2.5 stars vote downvote upReport
MrRick

I live in the human "Q-Tip" capital of the world, which is what we call our senior citizens in my over 55 community.

When they have their hair styled each week the way it looks from behind is that a Q-tip driving a car-LOL.

All kidding aside there is nothing to be ashamed of, we all age and at least these ladies have chosen to make gray hair look stylish, sexy and attractive-Bravo!

Reply »

mroneoftheguys, 6-08-2010, 3:14PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
mroneoftheguys

As a guy at 64 yrs...lets me see a show of hands now of who cares what I think...hmmmm...as I thought, no hands shown...well anyway...hair is one of the last things we look at...no list needed but you get the idea.......

Reply »

Cindy, 6-08-2010, 3:15PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Cindy

I would never go gray living in Florida where I do. I would just look old. Gray hair is not unique here at all!

Reply »

ndemilo, 6-08-2010, 3:22PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
ndemilo

oh i LOVE cougars. they're SO much more appreciative of "any" attention they get from you, unlike the little golddiggers that are terrible in bed! ha ha

Reply »

JO, 6-08-2010, 3:25PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
JO

SURE THEY RE PROUD TO GO GREY..........THEY ALL GOT FACE LIFTS.....

Reply »

cher, 6-08-2010, 3:22PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
cher

My sister stopped dyeing her hair and she is 4 years older than I am and we were at a function and someone asked me if she was my mother. Another time I was with my sister and her daughter and someone ask if that was her grandmother and I was her mother. YES, I am going to continue to dye my hair. I know I will look much younger.

Reply »

Beverly, 6-08-2010, 3:22PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Beverly

I'm 73 and color my hair a medium blonde (I was blonde as a child). If my hair had turned grey all over I probably would have let it stay natural. However, it is not the same all over and I would wind up looking like Cruella DeVille of Disney fame only with not quite as dark a streak.. Besides, I don't look 73 so why not keep a younger look all over. I've had men in their 40's ask me if I would date younger men. To me 60 is a younger man and not too many men in their 60's look that good but I refuse to date a man younger than my son.

Reply »

Cynthia, 6-08-2010, 3:27PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Cynthia

I just colored my hair today after trying to go grey for about a year. Unfortunately for me right now, I did not have enough grey to look good with it, so I opted for a warmer semipermanent color to complement my skin with warm highlights. Grey hair made ME look washed out and haggard. Grey hair can be beautiful on certain people, but to me I like to wait until I'm maybe at least 55-60. After all, you have a lot of time to be "old" but not youthful!

Reply »

Christine, 6-08-2010, 3:31PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Christine

Sorry, but I think they look old and washed out with gray hair. There is nothing attractive about it. Why would you choose to look old when you don't have to. Yeah, it's a pain in the neck to color your hair and to put on makeup each day, but I don't like the alternative. None of these women look better au naturale.

Reply »

Michael Parish, 6-08-2010, 3:34PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Michael Parish

I have seen too many women who have colored their hair for years with one single terrible problem. At about the age of sixty they start to loss their hair from the damage done by the coloring products. It starts thinning to such a degree that regardless of color they would have looked much better gray but with thicker hair. Especially women who have had it done professionally by salons. One man's opinion but I think gray is sexy on any woman whether they think so or not.

Reply »

Linda, 6-08-2010, 3:36PM

2 stars vote downvote upReport
Linda

Yes, I think it is wonderful to finally be your self. I prefer silver to grey, but hey, I am who I am now.

Reply »

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