So, in other words, this test was more about crazy tops than barely-there bottoms.
Hats! Thank god, was all I could think.
If I was going to look like a total nut, at least this time, all eyes would be up top. (Way up top.)
Lady Gaga once again served as style inspiration. This time, however, it wasn't her lack of pants but her over-the-top head gear that intrigued us.
When Gaga decided to add statement-making hats to her wacky wardrobe, the envelope-pushing fashion maven went straight to the, er, top -- celeb milliner, Philip Treacy.
Hey, if he's good enough for Gaga, I figured he was the man for me. I opted for his small black straw "beano" with dramatic veil detail and a polka-dot silk flower.
Treacy has a great deal of prestige, having designed haute couture hats for the likes of Alexander McQueen, Givenchy, and Chanel.
Gaga was so inspired by Treacy's quirky take on fashion that she applied for an internship with the lauded artist. "She sent her CV [resume]," Treacy spokeswoman, Alessandra Greco, confirmed to StyleList. "She is looking for an internship but we need to see her skills before!"
SJP was the other muse behind our headpiece road test. The queen bee of New York City fashion wore a custom Philip Treacy topper to the London premiere of the first "Sex and the City" movie.
So I channeled my inner SJP, and with the "Alejandro" beat coursing through my body, I hit the New York City streets.
Although donning a funny-looking hat was a lot less uncomfortable than tromping around Manhattan in designer "butt huggers" and mega heels, this road test came with its own degree of awkwardness.
From the hot dog stand on the corner of 8th Street for lunch to cruising down Broadway to pick up my dry cleaning, and a stop at the local pizza place to grab a pie for my co-workers, I looked ahead as guys raised their brows and women whispered and pointed critically.
One lady made zero attempt to lower her voice as she turned to her friend and said, "Does she think she looks good in that thing?"
Tourists craned their necks from tour buses to take pictures of me, proud that I would be the image they would show their friends, reporting back that, indeed, "New York City is full of the strangest people."
One guy even shouted, "Nice hat and nice head too!," though he wasn't exactly looking at my topper, if you know what I mean.
Although my new headpiece added some height and SJP style to my stance, I wouldn't opt for the topper as an every day accessory.
Maybe I'd wear it for the Kentucky Derby or a celeb-studded affair, but when all was said and done, this accent piece made me feel more doofy than dapper.
Meanwhile, check out how to wear summer hats.