When you own over 20 brands that make more than a billion each annually, you have the means necessary to make your science labs a place of envy.

I recently found out just how much there is to envy at Procter & Gamble's headquarters in the Cincinnati area, where the beauty and household care giant enlists more PHD scientists than M.I.T., Harvard and Stanford combined.

With all of those smart genes hatching plans under one roof, you can just imagine the complexity of tests the brainiacs invent to put everything from shampoo to lipgloss to deodorant through their paces in order to beat out the competition.

Due to a proprietary agreement I had to sign before stepping in, I can't divulge every detail.

But I can share some standouts.

In the very labs that just churned out Pantene's massive product reformulation and transformation, I spied a microscopic zoom camera utilizing thermal technology so strong that the U.S. State Department outlaws it from leaving the country, which they would classify as illegal "trafficking of arms."

The visual intelligence behind the camera is so advanced, the only stronger version available is used exclusively by the U.S. military.

P&G scientists painstakingly analyzed samples of real hair treated with competitive products under the lens, in order to create what they claim is a superior line of haircare whose benefits you can literally see under that kind of intense microscopic scrutiny.

The cost of that single shiny piece of equipment? A cool $65,000.

Pantene is sold around the world, and the North American plant makes all of the shampoo, while conditioner is made in Japan and styling aids in Germany .

With conditions varying wildly from country to country (for example, Americans think of a hair 'cold rinse' as 60 degrees, while Canadians think the very same thing is closer to 40 degrees), Pantene creates a formula distinct to each market so that the product will foam, lather, cleanse and style specific to those conditions.

I also saw a machine that lathered up hair strand testers, where scientists were carefully studying the difference between fluffy light and creamy lathers.



"Our lather machine is named 'Allie' because we're all dorks here and have to come up with a special name for every single machine," explained scientist Teca Gillespie.

Gillespie also described the bustling shampoo-making room featuring a labyrinth of ceiling and floor tubes as "the Willy Wonka factory," which I thought was spot-on.

In the fragrance room where the scent of clean hair is agonized over and perfected, I learned that the fruity-sweet scent of Herbal Essences' Long Term Relationship line was modeled after the Britney Spears fragrance Hidden Fantasy -- which features the sweet-citrus mixture of cotton candy, tangerine, grapefruit, lily and jasmine.

And if you're wondering what that yummy new Pantene scent is made up of, it's blackberry plum, gardenia, violet, white orchid, tuberose and the two essentials that produce that 'clean' scent -- heartwoods and musk.

In the CoverGirl labs, I learned that only 15% of women select the right foundation shade for themselves at the drugstore. The most common mistake? Women tend to go too light.