What's a girl to do when she's retired from the pole? Well, besides purge her G-string drawer, she can create her own indoor garden.

Take a cue from Giddy Spinster, who "upcycles" used heels of breathtaking heights and turns them into planters by removing the tops, drilling drainage holes, and inserting flora to complement the shoe's materials and colors.

It's more Giddy Spinster's descriptive dialogue (and feminist undertones) that makes us want to scoop up one of every variety:

"I removed the top of the shoe, sanded it, drilled holes for drainage, and then planted it with a pale pastel succulent with round leaves that are faintly pink and lavender (pachyphytum oviferum). The shoe's silvery shimmer, originally intended to shine at night on a dance floor, now brilliantly reflects the sun. The succulent plant will need bright light and just a little water from time to time. In return, it'll repay you with a stark reminder of how hard it is to... well, to be a woman."

We stumbled upon the collection by way of Broadsheet. (Thanks, Salon!) While it's certainly not the most functional of terrariums (you're not fitting a turtle in that one!), we kind of love that someone has taken the symbol of something so artificial, commercial, and well, dirty, and turned it into something entirely different. Something... pretty and useful.

Despite containing literal dirt, it's probably the least dirty use this shoe has ever had.

Planters start at $55, stiletto bookends at $150 per pair.

Speaking of stripper heels, check out teen star Taylor Momsen's tip-slot stilettos.