First comes "fug," then comes marriage?
After just four dates and less than a month of dating, 36-year-old Max Clifford -- who says he has a "face that makes children cry" -- reportedly popped the question to 31-year-old Janine Walker, who claims she's "no Angelina Jolie."
The engagement is the first for TUBB, which will pay for the couple to enjoy a honeymoon in Wales, according to the paper.
"This is our first engagement, and we are obviously delighted for them both," a spokesman for the international dating site tells the Telegraph.
Urging its members to "deal in reality," TUBB offers tongue-in-cheek (we hope) claims that ugly people "try harder in bed" and "have lower expectations -- for a first date, a family bucket [of chicken] will usually do the trick."
Hardly the stuff of romance novels.
So just how did these crazy kids, er, "meet cute"?
Clifford, who says he's been single since 1998, reportedly sent Walker a flirty message after spying her on TUBB in late August.
"I've been a joke to women for years because of the way I look," he tells the Telegraph.
"I always thought that I was too ugly to meet Mrs. Right but my life changed when I met Janine.
"She's beautiful and I love her in every possible way. I still can't believe this is happening."
Aw. And as for the bride?
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and to me, Tom's the perfect, handsome prince.
"I'm just so pleased to have been able to meet him, and I'm head-over-heels in love."
And they lived happily ever after...