Nicole Kidman says that ending her decade-long marriage to actor Tom Cruise left a nasty mark on her soul so bad she wasn't sure she would ever get that serious with a man again.
"I was really damaged and not sure whether that was ever going to happen again to me," Kidman told Marie Claire U.K. "I certainly never thought I'd have a baby at 41. But we never know what's around the corner."
Kidman and Cruise became a Hollywood power couple after meeting ont he set of "Days of Thunder" in 1989, but she says: "You don't think of yourself like that. I knew he was a really big star but after a while, to get to a real place in a relationship, that has to wear off. As a couple we were very private."
"We were not out a lot and we were very, very tight and that's why we lasted 10 years, which is a good amount of time, particularly when you get married at 23. That was a great relationship. It was great. I think it ran its course."
Since the split with Cruise in 2001, she has married Australian crooner Keith Urban, and had two children, the most recent, Faith through a gestational surrogate in December.
Kidman, who is nominated for a Best Actress Academy Award for her performance in "Rabbit Hole", also tells the magazine that she never expected to marry one, nevermind two famous men.
"I was never seeking to be a celebrity. But I was prepared to do that for love. And that is something that is hard to do," she said. "I'm very driven by falling in love. I fall in love and I'll drop everything and change everything."
She also acknowledges her limited range of facial expressions have had the beauty press speculating that she is a frequent user of the wrinkle eraser Botox.
"I tried it, I didn't like it, so I've gone back to my own forehead." She added, "But I've never had plastic surgery on my face. People say I have but I haven't."